Apocalypse

apocalypse the morning after

2009-09-10T12:40:00.005+10:00

A fun time was had by all, they tell me. Copies have been sold - now well into the double digits which is quite promising. Autographs and posters were sought, and 9.09pm on 09.09.09 was spent in darkness signing a book (and sorry Dr O'Donnell for making a slight mess of it!) Four parts of the book were read out, including all of The end, parts of Meanwhile, on Planet X, Profit of Doom and Observations of a drunken olive (an alternative theory). Am grateful to David Lipson for holding the microphone for me, as though he doesn't do enough of that at work.

Pictures and stuff will be updated and uploaded as they come in. But for now, as I've put out there in the tweets, here are links to my interview with Yartz's Misha Adair, in mostly unadulterated glory.

Part one with the "impertinent" questions

Part two with "blood and guts"

Enjoy!

Also, the first of the $40 bomus disc editions with all the bonus features and special stuff (that's so far been created) has been sold. There will only ever be fifty of these, and since there are only 49 chances left, get in quick! (PS. If there are going to be extra features on top of the already created extra features, getting in quick does not mean you will miss out, as updates will be supplied if there are any ... and one is being planned. Think of it like a Microsoft OS service pack.)

’twas the night before apocalypse

2009-09-08T12:57:00.002+10:00

The hall is rented, the orchestra engaged, it’s now time to see if you can dance.
Or so the saying goes. The launch party for Apocalypse, more than one copy sold, is tomorrow, Wednesday, September 9, 2009. Also known as the date that appears in all the posters. And various promotional material.
The venue, food and drink is organised, most importantly. Should be fun, am wondering how insanely I should dress, and am tempted to walk down High Street to a fancy dress shop and scope out the costumes.
Hair of course is another matter, and a complex regime has been put into place to make sure it’s just right for the night (or at least not terrible). I’m sure you all care so much. Clothes and dress was a special consideration before Monday’s interview with Misha Adair from Channel 31’s Yartz program (more info about when it’s on will come later, as it comes to hand, and follow twitter.com/TheRuffStuff for updates). Opted not to go as Lady GaGa, or any of the suggestions that came back to me via Twitter.
But clothes and hair aside, what to say? Am thinking about things to say in a speech, some jokes, thankyous, etc. But also, which parts do I read?
Well, the thought is to do a couple of complete chapters. Shorter ones, that may or may not be connected to anything important. Rather than just extracts of plot and dramatic slash melodramatic moments.

The shortlist of chapters under consideration at the moment is:

The end
Meanwhile on Planet X
A note from our sponsors
Profit of doom
Observations of a drunken olive (an alternative theory)

Or, if I was in the mood to completely mess with the crowd’s minds:

Peaceful alien interlude music
Omnipotent, omniscient, omnivorous
The shark and the sardine (radio edit)

There may be a few combinations. What will be read out, most definitely, is A life in the day of and the poem at the start of 6:06am, June 6, 2666. Hopefully it will be timed so that that last part will be last, and will take place at 9.09pm on 9.9.2009. Spooky.

ALSO

While I’ve finally motivated myself to tell you all about goings on since the book was written, the interview with Yartz should be mentioned. First thing Monday morning on a week off work may not have been the best time for it, but between Misha’s easy-going style and my love of this little passion project, I managed to say a few intelligent things. He asked some thoughtful questions, and in parts there were serious discussions even though a lot of Apocalypse is (quite deliberately) absurd. Walked away feeling like I should have told more jokes to sell a comedy book, but on the bright side I think it’ll show there’s some thought behind the insanity of calling the main characters Dark Chocolate, Anyway and Withnoname. And Misha picked up on the self-hating devil, which was one of the parts I truly loved writing. (No that I hated any of it, but as I told @YartzC31 as they’re known on Twitter, when writing for a living there are times when it is the last thing you want to do in your spare time. Hence the haphazard updating of blogs.)

There will be further news on when I’ll be on, but of course watch Yartz Monday nights at 10pm, or the repeat on Thursday 11.30pm. Not only because it’s a good show, but chances are you will learn something. And let’s be honest, it’s not like any other station has anything good on at that time on Monday nights, so lately it has filled in a gap between Flight of the Conchords and Boston Legal.

Now, it's time for me to stop being a human being, and start being a human being a human doing. Or something.

For sale, one apocalypse

2009-07-10T17:04:00.002+10:00

Apocalypse: the trilogy in a million pieces is a book that has sold more than one copy in this universe alone.

Now it is on sale at BookPal.com.au, Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Fishpond.com, Tor.com, Booktopia.com.au, Eruditor.com and quite possibly others that I have not been able to find through the magical, mystical powers of Google (the powers that also bring you this blog, nice Google).

So, there you have it. ANYONE IN THE WORLD can own a copy. So you have no excuse. :-)

And, yes, even though no-one will stop you owning one now, the launch is still 09.09.09.

It's here...

2009-06-29T17:32:00.003+10:00

Apocalypse: the trilogy in a million pieces has arrived at Casa de la Ruffles. So it can be ordered from apocalypsethenovel@gmail.com Although, having said that, there have been a few delays with PayPal, we think, given the experience of the first customer. So, it can be ordered from Amazon.com, at Borders or A&R which may prove easier for you all. (Although the author gets less money that way, it's all about the convenience for the customers.)

The launch is still down for 09.09.09 officially, but since the book exists and book stores have the ability to sell it, I am not going to stop people from buying it! Any questions, hit the email apocalypsethenovel@gmail.com

A website is thought to be coming soon. Should be around in time for the official launch, at least!

Also, there has been some publicity courtesy of The Courier and, we believe soon, The Sunbury Leader. This is exciting.

The cover ...

2009-05-06T16:59:00.000+10:00

Plot update #4

2009-03-24T20:09:00.002+11:00

There will be 100 copies of Apocalypse in the first run (these are paid for, more if there are enough orders) and it will be possible to order copies in 25,000 bookstores across Australia, the US and UK, and online with Amazon.com and Google Books. The plan is to sell them for $29.95 at this stage. The copies I sell directly will most likely be cheaper (can't say how much yet) so don't be afraid to do it that way.

Email: michael.ruffles@gmail.com to get on the list for one (or more) of the first 100 copies. They will be numbered and autographed, most likely, and I'll keep at least two for myself. Apocalypse and 09.09.09 are not that far away now.

ALSO Photographer extraordinaire Eugene Hyland has agreed to come up with an image (or two) for the cover. That is exciting.

Facts and figures.

2009-03-16T19:33:00.004+11:00

Apocalypse the trilogy in a million pieces draft one was finished this evening. The draft began on December 22, 2007, although in honest much of the work was done since September.

Here are the facts and figures.

Words: 98,104.
Chapters: 39, as detailed elsewhere on the blog, plus bonus features.
Pages: 226 (MS Word, Times New Roman 12pt, not the final book size and shape).
Characters: 484, 546 with no spaces.
Paragraphs: 3051
Minutes: 23,000+ or 383 and a third hours which is 10 working weeks, or nearly 16 days without doing anything else. (These are minutes the document has been open, have not spent all that time typing, but does not include thinking time.)

The completion of the first draft makes the author confident the 09.09.09 date for the book launch is realistic, though notes that most of the contents are not.

UPDATE: Having failed to meet the 100,000 word mark, which was not a particular aspiration, means it is unlikely the book will be submitted to any universities as a thesis on the philosophy of anti-post-postmodern monotheism and the subversion of materialistic society. Pity really, but there's scope for that to change after editing.

Font update #1

2009-03-15T13:48:00.002+11:00

The (main) font for the cover is called Jeopardize Thick BRK, which was bought in a packet of 10,000 (not one, not two but TEN thousand) fonts for a shade over $30 Aussie. Licenced for commercial use and royalty free, they promise. Have chosen a roman font for the actual text inside, pending what the print out looks like and how comfortable it is to read. Nice on the screen.

That's a distraction from me finishing the book, which is not far away. The 09.09.09 release date is looking achieveable at this stage.

Peace in!

Chapter list

2009-02-13T18:42:00.003+11:00

The list of chapters for Apocalypse the trilogy in a million pieces ...

Part I: novelisation of the soundtrack
The end
A small café left of the middle of nowhere
&
Magenta and all shades of grey
Popstars and popcorn
The bravest snackbar in the galaxy
Meanwhile, on Planet X
Reign of error
Wrong turn on the quest for coffee
A teacup in a storm
The triangle of time
Tale of the ex-terminator
Peaceful alien interlude music

Part II: our heroes are older, not wiser
A note from our sponsors
On the day that Universe was born
The gospel according to SPIT
I think I am a spaceship
How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?
Meanwhile, on the remains of Planet X
Profit of doom
The second greatest enigma
Omnipotent, omniscient, omnivorous
Three viruses walk into a bar
Crash course with eternity
Isosceles of isolation
A life in the day of

Part III: remixed and regurgitated
Nothing does not exist
Observations of a drunken olive (an alternative theory)
The immorality of immortality
Meanwhile, in the space formerly inhabited by Planet X
The shark and the sardine (radio edit)
Armageddon outta here
Hypotenuse of hypocrisy (the great coincidence remix)
The siege of Secon
Germesis (The gospel according to Thaddeus)
The day the universe died (The evolution’s over baby)
Nothing impossible happened today
6:06am, June 6, 2666
The beginning

Terrestrial version

2008-12-15T18:57:00.003+11:00

The novelisation of the soundtrack

Jack opened his left eye and saw his blood on the snow, freezing.

The first part of the devastating critique of western culture, set in space, is here. A limited edition print run of the first part is available for purchase for $8, including postage inside Australia. An ebook version is available for $5. For more details, contact michael.ruffles@gmail.com

Apocalypse is coming.

09.09.09

Plot update #3

2008-08-02T14:54:00.002+10:00

A rough outline

Dark Chocolate, the universe's bravest snackbar, is actually a Space Police captain and together with his sidekick Anyway they have to save the universe from the alien leader Withnoname (which is its name). Strangeness ensues. There are also apparently random chapters that reveal insights into the nature of the universe and humanity (not) that may or may not tie in with the overall plot. Plus there's god and the devil, who sort of set up the universe in the first place partly as a joke, and also to take a break from their never-ending fight that never ends (of course). There's also a genetically modified spy named Xyntrax Xyrgynz, talk shows, pop concerts and self-help seminars. And did I mention THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE IS AT STAKE! Naturally, otherwise it wouldn't live up to the name Apocalypse.

The world's dumbest sentence?

2008-04-28T17:50:00.000+10:00

Conscientious anti-decompartmentalisationalists revolt against prejudicial policies of apathetic parliamentarians for the purpose of turning green bottles into black socks, reversing the gravitational pull on Ursa Minor rendering the remaining clichés nullified so the temporal fabric won’t turn pink umbrellas into herrings while sipping boiling water flavoured by dried leaves of a plant so dressing gowns may not precipitate on Iceland causing a snowflake in Argentina to dissolve a nanosecond earlier than two dogs barked in unison on the other side of the world from each other creating severe cranial haemorrhaging to those standing between them not that anyone could it is too hot but I hope I didn’t spoil your day.

Plot update #2

2008-04-12T20:53:00.001+10:00

The book launch will be 09.09.09.

Plot update #1

2008-02-28T18:04:00.002+11:00

Okay, for all those out there who don't know (and there are roughly six billion of you) Michael Ruffles is writing a book. It is called "Apocalypse the trilogy in a million pieces" and will be published sometime in 2009, whether or not he has a book deal by then. Self-publishing is an option, but more details will come as plans are advanced.

In the mean time, this blog serves as a way to promote the looming event, and get readers interested in the stories and lives and times of our characters, which were alluded to in earlier, enigmatic posts. The main task of the writer, apart from his day job and his role as a husband, is to write the book, so there will be little interaction between readers and those posting material. But feel free to make your comments, they will be considered or ignored as appropriate.

Material not posted under the "Plot update" headings are from the book and are subject to the usual copyright law, etc. But as they have been made available, feel free to share them around. You just can't profit from them.

Enjoy.

Weather report

2008-02-28T17:51:00.000+11:00

Let’s go to Donna with the interplanetary weather.

Thanks Dan. High temperatures and strong solar winds are expected near the sun for pretty much the whole day, with temperatures cooling the further out in the system you are. New Venus should still be suitable for human life, with average temperatures at the equator of a pleasant 3.1 x 10² Kelvin. The ski resorts on the outer planets should remain popular, with temperatures right for ice, dry ice, black ice, and even rainbow-coloured ice.

It will still be well above absolute zero in most places, so movement will still be physically possible. A few minor meteor showers will be scattered across the southern end of the system. Isolated ion fields may cause electrical storms, but no thunder is expected with sound unable to travel in space. No black holes have been reported but motorists are advised to watch for them.

That’s all for now, stay tuned for updates.

The end

2008-02-28T17:49:00.001+11:00

Jack opened his left eye and saw his blood on the snow, freezing. Part of his brain knew he must be hurt. His pain receptors had taken the right time to go on holiday, and they remained pleasantly oblivious. Perhaps they were down at the beach, sipping on cocktails. Jack enjoyed the idea, as only his blood gave some relief to the white, endless winter wasteland he had bled on. Of course, he knew that somewhere behind him lurked the beast that had just broken his nose.

Apocalypse - it's coming.

2008-01-01T22:38:00.000+11:00

The year is 2666. The Apocalypse is here.

Follow the adventures of space police ship Ampersand, its captain Dark Chocolate and his sexy sidekick Anyway as they battle the alien leader Withnoname in the ultimate showdown between good and evil.